The Bucket List

The other day, I decided to clean up my huge pile of old notebooks and I came across one that has my life bucket list inside. I haven’t seen this notebook for quite a while that I’m actually starting to forget the things I’ve written. Being the organized person that I am, I divided my bucket list into 5 parts- myself, travels, family and friends, love and relationships, and academics. As I was making a run through of the list, I realized something:
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When I Said Goodbye, I Didn’t Really Mean It

It has been six months since we said goodbye and I’m sure that in the latter half of it I was convinced that I’ve gotten over you. I still am- convinced. I’m sure that I’m over you. I’m sure that I’ve fully let you go. I’m sure that I don’t love you anymore- okay, maybe I’m not. Maybe I still feel like I love you- not in the same way as I did before yet, I feel like I still do. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe this is just me missing you. Maybe this is just the void you left in my heart talking. I am not sure of this. I am not sure of your place in my life right now. I have never even been sure of you.

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Year-Ender in Batangas

My family have never been adventurous. Yes, they like to go out some time but only for important matters. The farthest place we went to that time was in Aklan- which I won’t consider as an escapade because they practically lived there half of their life. It’s simply just going back home. However, my parents decided to bring the family to somewhere peaceful and fun for NYE. Just imagine how the wanderlust in me lit up when we finally found the perfect place for a vacation- The Matabungkay Beach Resort in Batangas!

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Exploring Singapore

After our Malaysia trip, of course, we went to the nearest and most accessible country possible- Singapore!

We stayed in a cottage in Siloso Beach Resort in Imbiah Walk, Sentosa, Singapore. If your family’s planning to visit SG with enough budget to afford Siloso Beach Resort, do choose this place because aside from the white sand and water activities, some famous attractions and activities in SG are only a few steps away. One of which was the famous: Universal Studios!

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Papatawarin Kita

Papatawarin ko ang mga mata mo,
mga mata mong hindi makita ang halaga ko
Papatawarin ko ang mga mata mo,
mga mata mong hindi makitang nasasaktan na ako

Papatawarin ko ang mga tenga mo,
mga tenga mong hindi marinig ang sinisigaw kong mahal kita, gago
Papatawarin ko ang mga tenga mo,
mga tenga mong hindi marinig ang sinasabi ko’t unti unti na’kong napapagod

Papatawarin ko ang bibig mo,
ang bibig mong unang nagsabing “mahal kita”
Papatawarin ko ang bibig mo,
ang bibig mong siya ring unang nagsabing, “ayoko na”

Papatawarin ko ang puso mo,
ang puso mong minahal man ako
ngunit sinaktan matapos ang isang taon

Papatawarin kita,
Papatawarin kita sa hindi mo pagluha
Papatawarin kita sa hindi mo pakikinig
Papatawarin kita sa hindi mo paghingi ng tawad
Papatawarin kita sa hindi mo sa akin pagmamahal

Papatawarin kita
Pero sana patawarin mo rin ako

Patawarin mo ako
Patawarin mo ako kung hindi ko magawang tumahan
Patawarin mo ako kung hindi ko kayang manahimik
Patawarin mo ako kung patuloy parin akong humihingi ng tawad kahit hindi naman dapat
Patawarin mo ako kung hanggang ngayon, mahal parin kita’t
Mahal, patawarin mo ako, dahil hanggang ngayon, hindi parin kita kayang pakawalan

The Beginning of Something

Before anything else, let me give you a background of how I got the idea of doing this.

I started “blogging” during my sophomore year in high school. It wasn’t much, though. I only posted a few poems and rants while the rest were purely reblogs about grungy and band-related posts. Well, what do you expect from a 13-year-old girl, right? Months have passed and I grew tired of ranting and reblogging the same old posts. I became inactive for years. Quite odd, actually, since I am known for my words- both in speaking and in writing. Many of my friends told me too many times that I should start voicing out my thoughts and my adventures through a blog. Apparently, I didn’t. I couldn’t. Well, publicly. I do write down my thoughts, poems and whatever journal-worthy entry I can think of in notebooks I probably lost already. You see, I was too comfortable with the fact that no one can know about my deepest thoughts aside from me and whoever ghost that tends to read my journals surreptitiously.

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